Reaching out in COVID when things get tough
Written by Dustie Houchin
I was talking to a colleague the other day. She’s a really tough lady and usually quite upbeat, but today was different. She sounded low, a bit down. So, I asked what was wrong. She said, “I love my family, but trying to find new ways to help my patients and diversify the practice enough to make a living, is really hard when you also have to be on tap 24/7 as a mother and wife.” She went onto say that she was spending a great deal of time feeling guilty, because whilst she didn’t want to appear grumpy or short fused, she really needed her own space to work through her own career issues and emotional struggles. She has been a very Independent lady for many years, running a highly successful small animal and human practice. She enjoyed the interactions, camaraderie and the day today challenges. Yet, here she is, trying to juggle home-schooling with a husband who sits in his new office (the lounge), constantly talking to colleagues in various remote locations. “There is never a quiet moment. ” she lamented, with a sad tone.
“My husband is a gem” she said….”but sometimes I just want some peace and quiet to switch off from the world. It’s been really tough trying to help patients virtually and much more demanding, so sometimes I just need the space to breathe, get some silence and unwind.”
R’s practice had been located inside another business, which sadly hasn’t survived COVID. As a result, she lost her clinic rooms. This isn’t an unusual story. Sensibly, R made the decision to wait until the pandemic was over before trying to find new premises, but it has left her trying to juggle home visits, with remote consultations, which (if you’ve tried it) is not easy. And all this, whilst dealing with bad-tempered teenagers and a husband who’d rather be in the office, talking shop with the lads.
I realised then, how often I’ve heard variations of that story since COVID began.
Many practitioners are struggling. Not just financially, but also emotionally. Most of us have been forced into unnatural settings, trying to modify the way we work in order to accommodate regulatory demands. But, it’s not easy. Our homes don’t feel like “home” anymore. Most are modified offices, classrooms and customer call centres. Places where we’re stuck with people we love, but would like to see a little less of… That lovely feeling we used to get when putting our feet up at the end of a day, has gone. Instead, we can’t wait for the day that we can “get out”, move and go somewhere other than around the block.
These aren’t easy times and stories vary dramatically. Some people are happy doing emergency home-visits and are incredibly busy, whilst others are scared of the risks and so struggling to make ends meet. The result is, that depending on your personal circumstances and how you feel about mixing with others, your life may vary dramatically from the practitioner next door. What I’ve observed as a result of all this, is a shutting down of open communication. Those who are doing just fine, feel guilty flaunting the fact and those who are falling apart inside, don’t like to admit it. It’s a tragic dilemma and one we need to try to overcome as a profession.
Never has there been a time, when we need our colleagues more, so please, if you think someone is struggling, do reach out. Maybe offer some gentle suggestions as to how they could diversify without putting themselves at risk or, if it feels more appropriate, just have a virtual cup of tea and a chat. You could even discuss some cases and put it down as CPD! I frequently find, that just seeing someone I recognise on the Skype screen, smiling back, makes me feel better. Even if it seemed like an effort beforehand to glam up a bit for the event! So, if someone suggests a face to face call, try not to fight it. It will be worth the effort and it will give you a chance to see a fresh face and hear a different perspective. Not to mention the fact that dressing up a bit and wearing a spot of make-up, will make you feel better 🙂 And that’s a researched fact LOL!
As practitioners, we are used to being around people all day long. We laugh and cry with our clients and patients and if you’re like me, some of your old-timers feel more like family, so it’s been hard not to see them. But, these are the times we are in and this is what we have to deal with. So, let’s reach out to one person a day (or one a week if you can’t find the time) and make someone smile. And if you think that someone might be having a hard time (especially if they are on their own), don’t ignore it. We know mental health issues are at a record high, so please reach out and offer a helping hand. Whether that be to talk to them yourself or to guide them towards a professional, it doesn’t matter, but we are supposed to be a community and communities support each other.
AAO is always here to help and guide practitioners where we can and below are some links for groups and associations who might also be able to help.
Please support each other, because someday, it might be you.
Links to Associations and Resources
If you are feeling low or frightened and need to talk to someone, please reach out. If you don’t feel you want to do that with a friend or colleague, here are some professional organisations that you can reach out to for help and support. We’ve also included some organisations for young people, in case it’s a family member for whom you seek support. Many of these organisations have pages within them, that share information about other associations that might be able to help with specific concerns.
If you would just like to talk to someone at AAO, send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org and we will do our best to help or direct you. All communications will be treated as strictly private and AAO will not disclose your details or concerns to anyone. Please note, that whilst we maybe able to offer business suggestions to help you, we are not trained counsellors or mental health specialists. As such, if your issues are more clinical in nature, we would recommend that you reach out and speak to a specialist therapist or find a local group via one of the links above.